just perfect...

Yes!  All alone, finally!  Daniel's parents went camping, so we have the house all to ourselves for the rest of the week.  Schweet.  We were terribly slow at work today,  so to cope with the boredom, I was very silly with all of the servers.  My favourite one was working today, her name is Jennifer.  She is the sweetest, and I would miss her if I were to get the job I applied and interviewed for on Monday.  I would be over the moon to hear that I actually did well on the interview and got the job.  I would work the same schedule that Lissa has, and have the same holidays off, not to mention a $3.oo/hr pay raise.  YES.   I acquired a few albums this week, (not telling you how, that'd be bad, mkay. O_o)  and I am really liking Peter Bjorn and John.  If you dig indie shite, then you'd be all over this.  I also got Bjork's Homogenic album, but I've owned it at some point, so it isn't new to me.  I am digging on this dynamic randomiser that my music player has.  I've gotten to hear a little bit of everything I own so far, and that's nice.  I have about 30 or so albums on my hard drive right now, and someday (never, probably) I will rip all of my cd's so I don't have to fiddle with cd books.  YAY.

we've all decended into madness....

The night started out innocently enough, just drinking and playing Guitar Hero 2. Then, it all breaks down, and by the end of it, we're shooting each other with an Airsoft Beebee gun. What is wrong with this picture???

Ok, so I know I said back in June that I would write every day and blah blah blah.  I didn't do it.  Sue me.  I'm trying again, in the vain hope that writing in this blog will make up for the lack of a confidant other than Daniel.  Oh, don't get me wrong, I love having him pretend to listen to me while I talk about how bad my cramps are, but sometimes, you just want someone (or something in this case) neutral.  I've had the thought that I need to explore why I don't have many friends, but it just depresses me and we really don't need that.  I have finally found a job, granted it is only part time, and the pay is super lousy, but it's money.   

The weather is finally starting to cool down, and let me tell you I'm happier for it.  I like the feeling of crisp, cool air and the leaves falling from the trees.  Fuck a bunch of hot, humid bullshit like we had this summer.  I don't think I went outside at all during the 110 degree temp crap.  Like I'm going to suffer just to get some fresh air.  Not happening.  I don't like to sweat.  

If you haven't checked out Modest Mouse by now, you should.  Their latest album rocked my face.  Get it.  
Time to go get ready for work.  Have fun.

the past should stay the past...or should it?

It is pretty strange to think about what could have been. I used to think about it all the time, you know. I always wondered how things would have turned out, if you would have seen me as more than a friend. Since we're being totally honest here (gulp), I'll reveal that I was so in love with you. I should have insisted that we actually go out on a date, but you know....hindsight is 20/20. Please don't feel like you have to apologise for your behaviour from 8 years ago. I have gotten over it, and truly the way things have turned out were for the best, even though it sucked at the time. 1999 was one of the worst years i've had in my lifetime. I met JT. Ugh. I met him the night you came by Wal-Mart and let me listen to the live Portishead cd. It was New Year's eve 1998. Who would have ever thought that things would go so horribly wrong with him? I stopped hanging out with you for him. *sigh* one of my regrets. I stopped talking to you, and jt and i started dating. then he left to go to Montana for 3 months. I ran away from home to go see him. I quit walmart and got a job at ingram. then i got into the rave scene and fired from ingram for falling asleep at work. Then I found out I was pregnant. I was scared to death! 19 yrs old and going to have a baby. I figured my only option at that point was to abort. I had an appointment scheduled for oct 8, 1999 to terminate my pregnancy. I went to the appointment and they gave me the ultrasound to determine how far along I was. to my shock i was 17 weeks pregnant. Of course you know that i didn't follow through. I just knew at that point that this baby was going to save me. and she has...in more ways that i will ever be able to tell anyone. she is absolute, unconditional love.

one

It seems like my life has become boring, routine. I don't want it to be that way. I want to be able to capture life and live it to its fullest. I am going to make an effort to write everyday, even if I don't have much to say. Maybe this will help me in some fashion.